In early February, my English teacher read us part of a story called "A Diary of a Nobody", which is about the life of Charles Pooter & hiss on, Lupin.
Then, she wanted us to write one ourselves. She never marked mine, but almost everyone who read it found it hilarious.
Everything here is inspired by real life events, stories told by an old friend & the TV show "Everybody loves Raymond". I don't know of I should continue, so you tell me.
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April 20.
I was making my Uncle Samuel a wreck with all my questions. It was another 5 minutes that passed when a question shot out of my mouth before I could stop.
"Uncle, how do you wash that awfully dirty vase?"
He got up from the couch, walked up to me & said in the most annoyed & defeated voice: "I'll wash my hands off you!"
Immediately after he said that, he walked off to the bathroom & I heard the pump running, the smell of soap quite strong. Then, it hit me: he said he'll wash his hands off me & he is really washing his hands! Oh my goodness, does he even know what that means?
April 22
Dad was busy cleaning that squid, digging about to remove the intestines. Mum didn't approve of it, but it was too late anyways. The squids were horribly slimy, with funny purple stuff clinging to the head. Yuck! Believe me, I never ever want to touch one again!
May 2
Drat the TV! It's cable has gone haywire again! Mum was laughing at Dad as he scolded & knocked the side of the TV. Grandpa & Grandma came in with their umbrellas' up , soaked from head to foot.
"Is your cable down too?" Grandpa asked. Dad nodded with a sigh.
Mum suggested we play a board game & Grandma suggested "Scrabble". Mum stared at her.
"We don't have that game!" Mum said.
"I gave it to you for Christmas!" Grandma insisted.
After a few digging around, Mum finally pulled out the game. "Oh yeah! Scrabble! We love this game!" Mum lied.
Grandma took it. "Oh! You love the game! In fact, you love it so much that you decided to put it back into the wrapper after you finished!" Grandma huffed, insulted. Dad sighed & tore it out of the wrapper.
After some arguing, a cable man knocked & told us there was an illegal splitter on our roof, sending connections to Grandpa's house.
"We were just sharing!" Grandpa defended, as all eyes turned on him. That meant their TV went out the same time ours did, because out TV went boom.
"Dad!" "Grandpa!" "Raymond!" We all screamed.
